Refuse to Sink…

I didn’t think it would happen so early in the semester, but I am officially stressed.

We had our first Anatomy exam today, and I didn’t do as well as I had hoped. I didn’t know what exactly to expect and had difficulty figuring out the best way to study. Obviously whatever I was doing wasn’t right. The test was actually easier than I was expecting, which would make you think that I did really well. But it was easier in the way that I didn’t study thinking in that direction, if that makes sense. No, I didn’t fail; and yes I have done worse on exams, but I guess I am just really disappointed that I didn’t kick off the semester on the right foot.

As I mentioned earlier, I’ve been finding it hard to get back in to the swing of things and I think this grade really proved that to me. I don’t know what it is, I just really can’t find my groove and it is stressing me out. I need to really just buckle down, not think about other things going on in my life and make school my main focus again. Not that school isn’t my main focus, but this half marathon looming over me is I think the trigger to some of this stress.

I managed to push out nearly 7 miles on Sunday. Afterwards, my stomach did not react very nicely to the increase in mileage and I ended up couch ridden the rest of the day with severe stomach cramps. I have always had a weak stomach when it comes to running long distances, I guess I just have to figure out the best things to eat this time around. I understand that this half is my choice, I don’t have to run it if it is seriously affecting my school work. But as my best friend just told me, running should be used a stress reliever and not a stress inducer. I don’t have to stick to my training plan to the tee (even though it gives me anxiety when I stray from it too far…) but as long as I keep my mileage up, I will be fine.  

I know that school is my number one priority. I made this commitment for the next two and half years and I don’t plan on quitting. That word is just not in my vocabulary and never will be. This is just a little bump and I know I have the support of not only my family, friends and boyfriend, but my classmates. We’re all in this together and I have to remember that. It’s not a competition any more. When one person succeeds, we all succeed. So I just need to find my groove and go with it, while leaning on those around me for the support that I need to keep my head on straight.

I’ll leave you with this; my favorite quote and if I ever get up the courage to get a tattoo, this is going to be it.




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