I am…

Do you ever sometimes just stop and think about your life and where you are today? And all the events that led to where you are? And how if any one of them were different, you could be in a totally different place than you are right now. 

I had one of these moments last night. Yes, at 11 PM and I could not fall asleep for the life of me. So I thought it would make a great post this chilly, April morning. (Ummm, spring, where did you go?)

I am a daughter. To two of the most supportive parents a girl could ask for. We don’t get along all the time, we butt heads more than we should, but I would be no where without them supporting me in every decision I choose to make. My mom is my go to for most of my concerns now-a-days; it didn’t always be that way, but when you grow up you tend to gravitate back to who was there in the beginning. And I still remember in college when I debated quitting the soccer team because I didn’t get along with the coach, I got an email from my dad expressing how proud he is of me no matter what decision I make. I wish I had kept that email. 

I am a sister. To the two people I looked up to most growing up, being the youngest. As we’ve grown older, our bond has become tighter and I wouldn’t trade that for the world. Being 7 years apart from my sister is awkward when you’re younger, but now I hardly notice the difference. My brother paved the way for me in high school so that when I entered, I was immediately known as “Little (enter last name here)”. I am thankful I have them to turn to no matter what. 

I am an aunt. To two of the most incredible, loving, intelligent, amazing little boys in the world. And I am blessed to have another nephew or niece on the way. My world definitely changed when C-dog came in to the world. And it only became brighter when S came along three years later. I can only imagine the love I’m going to feel for number three in October.

I am a student. And I will have a clinical doctorate degree in a little over a year. It’s incredible the emotion this program has drawn from me. It’s pushed me to my limits, caused me to break, shown me what I am capable of, and proved to myself and other that when you put your mind to something, you can succeed. 

I am an athlete. Whether I am still apart of a team or not, I will always consider myself an athlete. From first putting on a pair of cleats at the age of 5, to officially hanging them up competitively at the age of 22; I will always be an athlete. It’s in my blood, it’s in my heart, it will always be my passion. 

I am a friend. And I think I’m a pretty good one at that. My friends all live far away from me. My closest friends live about 40 minutes away from me. With some of my farthest friends being up to a five hour drive. I’m thankful that I’ve remained so close with three of my best girl friends from high school; never forget where you came from. And I would also be absolutely no where without my college friends and teammates. They are my family.

I am a runner. I don’t consider myself to be a competitive hard core runner. But I run. And next week will be my third half marathon. Running has kept my going in my toughest times. I am thankful that I am able to run, and it is something that I will never take advantage of. 

I am a hopeless romantic. I believe in love. And I believe in it to the fullest. I don’t think any relationship should be a mediocre one. It should be full of passion and respect and trust and love and communication. If it’s not, its not worth it. And you should respect yourself enough to walk away and let love find you. I’ve had a hard time with this lately, but I respect myself too much to settle for anything less than what I deserve. And you’re damn right I believe this: I deserve the world. 

I am needy. I enjoy attention, a lot. And when I get attention, I latch on to it and want more of it. In relationships, I’ve found that I appreciate the other person more when they make more of an effort. I don’t like initiating interaction, but I also feel the need to know everything that is going on. I wouldn’t consider myself high maintenance, I just know what I want and deserve. 

I am determined. To accomplish what I was put on this Earth to do. Because I know He has a plan for me, I just haven’t figured out that plan just yet. But I have faith that things will work out how they are supposed to.

I am a little OCD. I need order. I need schedules. I need to know what is happening when. I have trouble when I don’t know what’s going on or what the plans are. I get serious anxiety when I don’t have a plan or I have to “wing it”. I’m working on it.

Just because I may not show you or express all of my thoughts and feelings doesn't mean I don't have any. It only means you are not special enough for me to show you.

There are so many other things I could put up on here. But class is about to start. So I have to pay attention now. This is a super random post but thought it was a good topic for today. Happy Hump Day people! It’s my Friday – thanks to attending a private Catholic school, we get an Easter break. I may or may not pop back in this week!


5 thoughts on “I am…

  1. i LOVE this! sometimes we forget all of the things that we “are” but when we sit and think about it, things become more clear to us. great post! 🙂

  2. This post is so great 🙂 I feel like I’m smiling from the inside out.

    Btw your pictures are showing up for me now! Woohoo!

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