Online Dating: What Not To Do

Now that I don’t have school dragging me down and keeping me stressed, I actually have time to myself and time to get out in to the dating scene. Say what?! Yeah I know, it’s been awhile since I’ve brought that up on here, ha. I’ve had my random guys here and there (Not like that, you guys, come on now!); but nothing serious since my last relationship ended. I’ve been loving the single life and am truly not looking for anything super serious at the moment, but dating can be fun (maybe?) so I thought I’d get with the times and give the online dating scene a shot. Because, why not and what do I have to lose?!

Especially with moving to a new city, it’s hard to meet people unless its through work or through my roommate. My roommate decided to give it a shot too, so it’s been fun and hilarious trying it out together and sharing stories. Here are a few things that we have discovered are a definite turn off when looking through profiles and receiving messages:

  • People who abbreviate conversation starters. For example “GM..”. My response to that: Were you too lazy to type out Good Morning, or are you concerned about the well being of General Motors?”
  • People’s who username have “nice guy” in it.
    • Along with that: “(insert professional sports team name here) superbowl2016/worldseries2016”, particularly if your team is horrible.
    • Also: names that have “papi” in it.
  • Education level: High school. – Notice how mine says “Doctorate”, yes, keep moving.
  • People who’s only pictures are bathroom selfies, extreme close ups of their face, or half naked pictures.
  • Any references to 50 Shades – just, no.
  • People who have pictures of their cars in their profile. I don’t care that you drive a large truck… What are you compensating for?
  • I’m sorry, but messaging me “You’re sexy”, is not a compliment. And I will not respond.
  • Poor grammar in your headline. Your, you’re. Learn the difference. Also their, there, and they’re.
  • Asking me questions about things that are written – quite plainly – in my profile. You can just tell me that you like my face and that’s why you messaged me. I can tell you didn’t read the profile.
  • Why is every single one of your pictures with an attractive female? Because that doesn’t make me think you’re a man-wh*re at all…
  • Me not responding to your creepy message is not “playing hard to get”. You’re creepy. I don’t like you.
  • “Pet names” are not okay. I am not your baby, I am not your ‘mami’, I am not your love, and I am not your sweetie.
  • If you see the age difference is more than 15 years – do you REALLY think we will respond?!
    • I’m looking at you Mr. 50-year-old “Oh baby” messengers!

This is not even close to all of the things that I could have included here – but it’s a start. If you do any of these things, I guarantee it is not helping your chances.

I’m feeling like this should be a new series that I keep up. The Adventures of Online Dating. Yep, that’s gonna happen. So stay tuned for more laughs!


5 thoughts on “Online Dating: What Not To Do

  1. Haha that’s too funny! I did online dating when I lived in Philadelphia which was definitely interesting! It was fun and I met some really weird people, but some also really awesome people!

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